Listen up, boys and girls, are you in love with some or like them and they do too but they are too shy and you want them to MAKE A MOVE ALREADY! I’ve decided to make a list of things NOT to do when you like a girl or guy.
1. Sit next to her in a movie, then spend the two hours pretend she’s not there. If you want to sit by me, sit by me! I’m not saying you have to hold my hand, or make an obvious move. But don’t be awkward about it! Make witty comments, flash your sparkly eyes in my direction the low light. Maybe even talk about how ugly you find the heroine. I don’t know.
2. Text her everyday, but only when asking a question If you want to talk to me, strike up a conversation. Don’t be a coward and be like, “Uhh…so are you going to the game on Saturday?”.
3. When asked if you like her, answer awkwardly “like a sister…?” First of all, if you didn’t like me, you would just say, “No, I don’t like her.” Guys don’t put that much effort into a response if it’s the truth. Also, grow a pear and admit how you feel, or you’re never going to get anywhere.
4. Obsessively make fun of her about this other guy she said was cute. One time. You notice the guy I thought was cute faster than I notice the guy I thought was cute. Let it go; it didn’t mean anything, and I don’t like him like that. You’re not going to get a “You’re so much cuter than him, though!” anytime soon.
5. Make fun of her teeth*. This one is just plain rude. We all know you think I’m cute, and trying to throw us off the scent isn’t helping your case. Also, that being-mean-to-the-girl-you-like thing got irritating in first grade.
*Feature has been changed to protect the identity of this individual. But come on, I have perfect eyebrows, right? 😉
6. Sleep through your plans with her. Yes, you were tired, but if you like a girl, the number one way to make her angry at you is to blow her off, especially if it happens more than once.
7. Hint about your previous girlfriend. It doesn’t impress me that you’ve had a girlfriend before. You’re not proving anything to me by continually bringing it up.
8. Tell her that honesty will help your relationship grow stronger. That’s the first time you have ever mentioned “our relationship.” Um, excuse me, what relationship?
9. Spend a lot of time showing her how good you are at Angry Birds. Trust me, a girl’s brain works differently than a boy’s. Watching you play games on your phone doesn’t do anything for me.
10. While hot-tubbing, talk about how many pull ups you can do, and when she calls your bluff, go and show her that you can, in fact, do that many pull ups. Ok, I admit, this one was kind of annoying in a hot way.
I like to think that I made a difference for a few of you lonely fellas out there. Good luck!
Alright ladies, do you agree with these tips? And dudes, do you think you can avoid the things on this list?