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Evelyn Lozada PENS A LETTER To Herself (Mija), & Says Star Jones Helped Her See The Bad Example She’s Setting For Young Girls Of Color!

“BBW” star Evelyn Lozada wants the world to know she recently had an “aha” moment. In a letter penned to her 7-year-old self, the star admits she’s finally seen the error of her ways and will “Try To Do Better.” Check out what the Desk of Evelyn had to say below:

Dear Mija,

In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create… You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small.

You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your seven year old self could never picture this near nightmare at thirty-six. You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer.

You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the Ah-ha moment Star Jones forces you to have. Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star, lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl, she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television.

It’ll take the moment when you see and hear your future step-daughters pretending to be “you” after watching you behave badly on T.V., that you’ll actually feel real shame. Knowing that the self image they were imitating was the very ‘image of self’ you will so desperately try to escape. In utter embarrassment you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching for the imprint of encouragement felt by Star, Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you…encouraging you…willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you.” It’ll be the wakeup call you need.

Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better.

I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better.

Learning To Love You More,

Evelyn

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7 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    June 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    Let the congregation say…Please Get the F*** out of here Mija!!!

  2. xedsews

    June 6, 2012 at 1:56 pm

    I will never, ever watch this show again. After I saw how VH1 and the cast try to throw Jen under the bus, I was very disgusted. Asking her why she didnt press charges against her husband like it was any of their business. And Tami is too fake, I never knew ppl wanted to fit in so badly, like damn, do you have your own opinion.

  3. xedsews

    June 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    I will never, ever watch this show again. After I saw how VH1 and the cast try to throw Jen under the bus, I was very disgusted. Asking her why she didnt press charges against her husband like it was any of their business. And Tami is too fake, I never knew ppl wanted to fit in so badly, like damn, do you have your own opinion.

  4. Anonymous

    June 6, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    Honestly im not buying the letter at all… Mismanagement of her business ,greed and anger got her were she is now…. This letter is a ploy to recover some if not all of her losses…

  5. Yes I said It

    June 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    She may be genuine but what makes me pyssed is that they never regret their actions until it starts hitting their pockets. The only way we, the majority can get through to any of these arrogant, pompous a z z h o l e s caller celebs is through the pockets (mental note take)….what we should take from this is being proud of the fact that our collective protest and detestment of this show is getting through to them. We should be proud that an action that we black people took shows that WE have the power when we come together. This should be fuel to protest , , call, write, petition the next cancer in our communities, hip-hop. She can be sincere in what she is saying if she really feels this way she shoule respectfully bow out of the show. Real regret comes with actions not just words. I still plan to boycott bbw and her spin off because this long letter can not ever ever make up for the damage she has already don't to colored women's image

  6. Anonymous

    June 6, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    They write these letters and do these interviews professing their changed hearts and enlightened minds, but the reunion shows they are clearly defending their actions and feel justified in most of what they do and say. It's hard to take them seriously and this whole thing seems like a media push in order to save the franchise.

  7. Anonymous

    June 6, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    WOW! This is desperation at its best, not an epiphany or a-ha moment, or whatever. Two things, someone else helped Ev put this letter together. It definitely did not come straight from her or her heart. Second, by the time Oprah reached a much larger level as a talk show hostess, Ev was already doing her "thang" fighting (as she has stated) and getting pregnant (I am NOT knocking her for her teenage pregnancy, just stating a fact) so I sincerely doubt Oprah was on her television set–after school. As you would say, FOH! Too late mija.

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